Got Pregnant From Casual Sex...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by johnny666, Sep 17, 2017.

  1. johnny666

    johnny666 New Member

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    Any one here who got pregnant from casual sex? Too many young damsels in our town got pregnant from casual sex. Most of them are still schooling and people around are judgy. Should we judge them for their irresponsible fatuity act?
     
  2. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    In the olden days, getting pregnant outside of marriage is a big scandal that most young mothers would go out of town or out of the country to hide her situation. But now, getting pregnant by casual sex is tolerated by the society and there's no shame anymore. So I guess the permissive society welcomes anything about changes in culture whether it is pregnancy out of wedlock or even gender change.
     
  3. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I think most girls who try sexual intercourse know how to handle it without getting pregnant in most cases. However the chances of getting pregnant are always there even after taking all the precautions due to different reasons. I don't think many girls would let society know about their undesired pregnancy but get rid of it before anyone knows about it. However, it depends on what society they are living in and how the people react.
     
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  4. Folk Artist

    Folk Artist Active Member

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    I think in today's society, casual sex is more acceptable but they(teens) should be taught to find a deeper type of human connection before having sex and sometimes these casual sex decisions can lead to anxiety and depression -so it can also effect these young people's mental health. I think though the biggest problem is the girl coming to terms with her young pregnancy and it getting into the way of her future. They do have advertisements out there today, that warn these teen girls, if they get pregnant-that they will end up poor and their boyfriends will leave them-so teen girls please take notice !
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2017
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  5. HazelDJ

    HazelDJ New Member

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    Pregnancy from casual sex is rampant nowadays. This is one the problems of the society especially for the countries that contraceptives are not allowed. This becomes the start of troubles. The lady may not know the background of the guy. The latter maybe married to another woman. In addition, a possibility of contamination of diseases is also possible and may transmit to the baby. Overall, the baby is a victim in this scenario.
     
  6. NicholasMukuha

    NicholasMukuha Member

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    As for me, from experience with sin, I do not think that we should judge them. A time comes in life where curiosity overcomes logic and one just wants to try something, even when they clearly know the negative effects. What I think should be done, is that we should revise what we expose our children to see, hear, taste, touch or even smell. For instance, when I was a kid, it was easier to find dinosaur, than it was to find a pornographic movie. Nowadays, these dehumanizing videos are the order of the day. When our kids, see this and how they are depicted as fun, they want to try and find out if it's true and as a result, they end up being messed up.

    Also some of the music we allow them to listen to, is so luring. I think the music industry too, has to review their content and only bring to the surface music that is educative and positively impacting our people. All sources of drugs should be scrapped off, because when some kids use them, their ability to make sound judgment is impaired, and some end up engaging in casual sex. But basically, we should not judge them, because we also have our weaknesses too.
     
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  7. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    Well in my opinion, judging them would be a complete waste of your precious time and energy. It's best to use the time you would use to judge them and do something useful with yourself and your life.

    They are pregnant, means that they are pregnant already and there is no changing that. And they having got pregnant when not prepared for it is enough punishment for them, as it would drastically affect their lives, even if they go for abortion, the guilt of killing the baby would hunt them for the rest of their sorry lives.
     
  8. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I have two nieces who became teen moms due to casual sex or pre-marital sex. I suppose curiosity is one factor because of all the available influences that are easily accessible like movies that depict young love, porn, etc. No parent would want that to happen to their daughter but unfortunately, it happens no matter how much we teach them about responsibility. And I agree with @Alexandoy about the society we now have that has become permissive - it's accepted so teens feel they can do whatever they want. Sad but true.

    I think the bigger question is how parents will handle the situation. Of course, shock and anger are inevitable initially. Eventually, acceptance comes in. We learn to deal with the situation. And we love our two granddaughters very much.
     
  9. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I totally agree with you, @Folk Artist . Teens these days "should be taught to find a deeper type of human connection before having sex." I guess that would be one way to curb the prevalence of teen pregnancies. That's what I often tell my boys, too (I have three teen boys) - not to have sex with someone they might impregnate and later find out that she's not really the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I tell them if that happens, they're doomed, especially if they're forced to marry the girl.

    Also, to talk to them and tell them that something that has become acceptable to society does not necessarily mean it's okay to do it.
     
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  10. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    True. Many of the materials available online and in the media these days are explicit. No one seems to be regulating them anymore. Anything goes. It's now up to the parents to screen what they expose their kids to, and to closely monitor them.
     
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  11. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    Actually it's more about the curiosity and the excitement associated with the "EXPERIENCE" associated with this particular relation and the unlimited online and printed stuff available really increases the willingness to try it at the first available chance. However it's not only the online stuff since teen pregnancy is nothing new but has been here in the society since pre internet era. The only thing is that it's not considered a sin anymore like the olden times.
     
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  12. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Sad but true. With humanity's advancement in science and technology, the opposite thing is happening with human values which is going downhill.
     
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  13. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    Casual sex is not necessarily the same as premarital sex. Casual sex is sexual intercourse between people who don't have a established relationship. Thankfully, this isn't the norm in our society as it seems to be in more developed countries. Our society is still largely conservative and people don't just have sex with anyone.

    There are teens who get pregnant out of wedlock by engaging in sexual intercourse with their boyfriend at a tender age. While we can't judge them for their lapse of judgment, there are lessons that can be learned from their experiences. I, for one, has a sister who got pregnant and lived in with her boyfriend at the age of 18. They were both young and he was my sister's first boyfriend and suitor. They were of the same age. They had to meet in secret because my parents were too strict. Their clandestine dates led to sex and later on, pregnancy. My sister had to go through a lot of hardships after that. Her experience scared me and motivated me to finish school, start a career, and put my finances in order before embarking on serious responsibilities like family and parenthood.
     
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  14. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    You're right, Miches. There is always a lesson that can be learned from not-so-good experiences. You for one, has learned a lot from your sister's experience and became a responsible adult. Unfortunately, some young adults do not end up like you, and end up following their sister's footsteps. It's really difficult to start a family or raise a child if one is not emotionally and financially prepared. Being a parent is a very huge responsibility.
     
  15. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    No matter how much society accepts these situations which I would rather say they are forced to there is bound to have an effect on the pregnant girl psychologically.
     
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  16. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I had been living in Australia until last week where teen relationship is common and as we all know that they take it normally. I have seen boys and girls as young as 10-12 begin dating and PDA (public display of affection) is a common seen there. I have used PDA which in my views is perhaps very mild expression of what we see from a boy or a girl of 12 or 13 in public but to be frank no one minds that. Rest I leave to your imagination since this all is considered normal there.
     
  17. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    Well I think if they don't want the child then I won't blame them if they abort it or have the child adopted. The child was a product of casual sex, so it's understandable if they won't keep it. If they do, then well and good.
     
  18. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    True, @iamawriter . Most of the time, it's the pregnant girl who suffers from the effect of the act because she carries the evidence of their deed as compared to a guy. So people who see a young girl pregnant pass judgment on her, talk of her negatively, even her peers or school mates. So all the talks would definitely take their toll. Unfortunately, most of them do not think of these consequences before engaging in casual sex. Otherwise, if they did think about it, they would not have done it. No matter how permissive society is, people will always talk about the pregnant girl.
     
  19. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    It's probably not because people don't mind it; it's probably because some do care but are afraid of getting criticized if they talk against something that has become acceptable in society. These days, if you go against the trend/norm, you get criticized for being a kill joy or for reacting too much. Whatever happened to most people's morals/values? Has it become a thing of the past, rendered obsolete? Sometimes it does make me wonder.
     
  20. Rmarsh1984

    Rmarsh1984 New Member

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    Society really does view pregnancy differently in unwed couples, women in particular, than they have in previous decades. If the girl was still under age, the parents could send her away to either get an abortion, or to have the baby in secret to give up for adoption and then allow her to return. There was also the situation where parents would force the pair to marry to make the pregnancy seem less taboo.
    To me, casual sex means promiscuity as opposed to just not being married or at least in an established relationship. With the advent of birth control, you would think that these pregnancies would no longer occur, but that is not the case. With the exception of surgical procedures, all birth control has a small incidence of failure. Even emergency contraceptives (morning after pill) are not guaranteed to work.
    Then there are the cases where drugs or alcohol are involved. The pair may not be in the right frame of mind to be thinking of precautions for their own safety as well as the possibility of pregnancy.
    There is also the problem of younger people not being educated in sexual health and birth control. Some of these people (not just teens, but grown women and men) may not even know the basics of their own bodies, let alone the biological process of becoming pregnant.
    Regardless, it is always the woman who ends up being judged by society in the end. She is judged for being a sexual being, judged for falling pregnant (which she may have been actively trying to prevent anyway), and then she is judged for her choice of how to handle the pregnancy (abort/adopt/keep). Whereas the male in the situation just gets another notch on the bedpost in many cases.
    I don't think that the incidence of these unplanned pregnancies is necessarily that much higher than it used to be, but I think that it is more out in the open.
     
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  21. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    @Rmrsh 1984 I agree with you especially that the female is th one who takes the blame for a simple reason. Because she carries the baby and that gives her out whereas the male doesn't have any obvious sign of what he did or even has the advantage of refusing to take the responsibility. Therefore even if both the partners have equal responsibility the female has to be more careful before indulging in such an activity which might create problems for her. As they say the society still has the mentality that their boys are right and girls should take care. We all know that one can't clap with one hand.
     
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  22. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I was just casting my mind back to a young girl who was raped by her babysitter when she was 14. She became pregnant but hid it from her parents for most of the pregnancy. I think she was around 6 months when her mum found out. She had been so frightened and had no antenatal care but once her mum knew she did everything she could to help her. That child is now in her twenties and turned out to be the loveliest girl, her mum is now married and works as a nurse. The babysitter went to prison where he rightly stayed for some time.

    In this case it really wasn't the girl's fault and despite what happened this child was brought up well and loved by all her family. Sometimes there is a happy ending despite a bad start.
     
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  23. AmieBotella

    AmieBotella Member

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    Like most of you already stated, pre-marital sex these days is much more accepted generally in the whole world compared to the last 4-5 decades ago. However, those who got pregnant because of casual sex still is looked down today. I don't see why we should judge anyone for their actions. We can always have our beliefs but that doesn't put us in the upper place to judge others. Just because they sinned differently from ours, means we are blameless and better.

    I personally still believe in the sanctity of marriage but if others do not see it the way I do, I still respect them. I am no saint, but I do try to be more compassionate (bordering to not caring) rather than a judgmental, conceited person.
     
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  24. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I would say that story is one in a million. Good for both the mom and baby. Sadly, most rape stories have sad, if not really bad, endings. Most rape victims try to forget about the incident by aborting the baby or getting it adopted. It's not fair for the baby because he/she is also a victim, but we should not also blame the rape victim.
     
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  25. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I totally agree with you that it is the woman who takes the brunt of society's judgment because she carries the evidence of the act. And the men, they go unpunished, and are sometimes branded as 'machos'... another conquest/victim. As what I always say, most men look forward to marrying women of good values and whom parents would approve of, but they themselves "desecrate" the women who could have been worthy.
     
  26. Jason76

    Jason76 Active Member

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    It depends on the victim. In the past, if you were an African American and your victim was white - of any social standing, the public opinion was negative, often fatal.

    Religious authorities in many lands, Catholic, Protestant, have always been against fornication, but men are only human (This isn't an excuse, by the way.), so what do you expect?
     

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