A new post has been published over at the Starlight Baby blog: How To Cope With A Whining Toddler And Maintain Your Sanity Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic below!
I liked that video taping the whining. This takes me to the time we took photographs of this guy who would come home drunk. He was my husband's bro - in - law. When he saw the photos he was so embarrassed that I think that helped us to wean him away from liquor.
haha, that's really funny I'm sure his embarrassing photos helped in a way. As for videotaping our kids, the vids will be a source of great laughter when they grow up, haha. I remember showing my grown up kids their hilarious photos when they were kids and we would just laugh.
I'm not sure I agree with videotaping. I wouldn't do it. I don't see the need. But it's not a point to have a major dispute over. If the child is behaving like a “spoiled brat” as some adults might describe their whining, it could be that some adults have permitted and possibly rewarded that type of behavior. In their innocent minds, they might think it's an effective form of communicating and having their requests honored. If they are experiencing pain or discomfort or sadness but can't tell you that OR they just want to have things their way, it's on you, the adult to find that out. Some medical professionals have told parents that a child's diet can cause certain behaviors. The main point? A toddler is not an adult. They either can't speak or their speech communication skills are extremely limited. So since most of them can not clearly explain what's bothering them, it's up to the adults to figure it out. Big job? I know!! We're not mind readers. It's a big job but NOT impossible. We were all once toddlers. Maybe we did the same thing. Maybe we should ask the ones who raised us how they handled us. Perhaps their methods worked. If so, apply their experience and wisdom. If not, your child is your child. Who is going to try to get to know them better than you and to learn how to understand their moods, their personality, their reason for whining? Who but You! Children don't just whine for the sake of whining. There is a reason. You're the parent. You need to find out why and help the child change that behavior. If you don't, other people may mistreat them, because they simply don't have the patience to determine the cause. To them, a whining brat just gets on their nerves and they need to make them shut up!! Remember. Nobody loves your child as much as you do.
It is always important to take a step back every now and then just remember these things, and for me it helps get back to source of the issues. You are right too in that you can learn how they react to certain things and identify them sooner and sooner.
I didn't do video taping but I know someone who did. She recorded her 7 year old whining and having a tantrum and asked who she thought it was. She answered "it's a baby". When her mother told her who it was she was embarrassed but I don't know if it actually did any good or stopped her whining.
Yes, identifying the cause at the soonest possible time is essential in order to prevent future tantrums. If we don't address the issue and give in, the child may feel that he can do the same thing in order to get what he/she wants.
I would say a seven-year-old kid may still not fully comprehend the act as embarrassing. She may have been embarrassed initially but it may not have sink in that much yet, haha
My wife and I were facing a blank wall when our kid started whining that sometimes took an hour. I told my wife not to hurt the kid and sometimes we argued who is right and what's proper or appropriate. Well we just stayed calm but don't give way until we gave much attention to our kid's needs. Our three year old son soon realized that we do care him. We treated him like our buddy and we're friends. And indeed it worked.
Our neighbor's son has that habit when what he wanted was not given. One time he knocked on our gate for the usual chocolate drink that I give him. But before handing him the drink, I explained that he should not whine. The little boy nodded and ran to her mother happily with the chocolate drink. After a while, I heard the boy whining. The mother said that he is hard headed when he couldn't get what he wants. I think that is normal for a toddler at age 1 to 2.
I like the recommendations listed hereabove. And i hate myself for what i did to my daughter when she was just 5 years old. Although it worked for me at the time, i really don't like even thinking about it. Anyway, my daughter was "super whiner". One day i decided to lock her in the bathroom with lights off. It worked, she stopped crying. But i recommend this move. Because it makes her view the bathroom as a bad place. Where people to be punished are supposed to be. Nowadays, i reason out things with here. But of course, she's a little older now. She has just turned 7!