Аrе mоthеrs sоmеtimеs mоrе stеrn with оnе сhild оvеr аnоthеr?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by MariaJ, Mar 21, 2017.

  1. MariaJ

    MariaJ Member

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    Аrе mоthеrs sоmеtimеs mоrе stеrn with оnе сhild оvеr аnоthеr?
     
  2. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    That is correct. Most mothers are too selective in favoring their children. Rift among children are evident because of that attitude their mother has shown to them.

    I have personal experience on how my father treated me and my older brother. I remember one rainy day we were inside the house playing. Thunder and lightning overcoming the stillness of that afternoon. We were laughing out loud for we were exchaning jokes. Our father burst in the room we were played and grabbed from my left arm and hit me with his leather belt at my buttock. I was surprised and silently asked myself, why me because I am the youngest? It's my older brother who did the most noise.
     
  3. Decentlady

    Decentlady Active Member

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    I have never felt discriminated perhaps because the love that was showered on us was more stronger than the beatings and the discrimination.

    That's how parents are. A step taken in anger shouldn't be taken to heart by a child. They are also human beings and a lot of factors may have lead to that particular action.

    All in all despite the discrimination, parents generally love their children equally.
     
  4. moondebi

    moondebi Member

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    Yes, mothers are not free of favoritism. Besides, showering love and care to all the children may not be possible always. But, then the little discrimination whatsoever is there gets overpowered by the love and affection. Situations do rise when a mom needs to be harsh on a particular child.
    However, mothers should be careful that her behavior doesn't look partial even if she is doing it for her child's well being.
     
  5. Taliska

    Taliska Active Member

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    Yes, and if you look on most of the parenting articles favoritism can be a huge problem. If one child is consistently overlooked, it can cause problems in the family when they are older, and the child who is preferred may not learn to handle challenges. It is really important to treat children equally and fairly.
     
  6. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    I think my mom was equally stern with the both of us, but usually it depends on the attitude of the child. If the child is more rebellious or disobedient, then I think that it's just natural for that parent to treat the problematic child more sternly to discipline him.
     
  7. pwarbi

    pwarbi Active Member

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    I'm sure that some mothers ARE more stern with some of their children than hat they are with others, but that isn't because they are discriminating against one over the other, or they have favourites. No child is alike and some will respond to different way of bringing them up. Some children will do as they are told and follow every word a parent says, others won't and will test that parents patience to the limit so they will have to be more strict with some more than others.

    I have 2 children and even though they are both well behaved, they both react differently to what we say and we need to find different ways to say practically the same thing to both of them. One will do whatever we say without question, the other will need a little persuading sometimes as she is more of a character. People will think we treat them differently, but that's only because we know they respond differently and it's good parenting rather than any form of favouritism.
     
  8. Mr.Kay

    Mr.Kay New Member

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    I also believe some moms tend to favour one child over another because of a number of reasons. In some cases we have seen over the years children of the same family but yet their up bringing so different . For instance a newly wedded couple may have their 1st child through life struggle and even at times slept with no food through the night yet the second child is brought up having everything that every child may dream of, that is; somewhere one can call a home. Because of this you find the 1st child will tend to understand where and the struggle the parents have been through and thus at times you may find the bond between the child and parent is very tight and the child will obey and respect the parents unlike the 2nd child who may have knowledge about struggle but has no idea or seen it in person. It does not mean that parents hate the child but tend to favour one child over another because of various other reasons
     
  9. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    In my experience, not just the mother but also the father. There is no such thing as equality since everything depends on so many factors. Aside from the bias and prejudice of the parents, there are children who are really a brat that seem to challenge the adults. When that brat attacks then it is only proper for the parent to be more stern with him.
     
  10. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    I think so, although this may just occur unconsciously. Parents have to try everything possible not to make a child feel he/she is loved less than the other sibling(s). Each child, like every other human being is different in their character and approach and should be brought up in the best way with these differences in mind. One child might be extroverted and talks a lot and the other might be introverted. Using a blanket one-size-fits-all for both children will not work.
     
  11. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    I like your last sentence.. "Using a blanket one-size-fits-all." I also agree with your view of things. I have also grown up in a family where no matter how much my parents tried to treat us equally, the difference was always felt.

    I happen to be the first born in a family of boys. I was the smart and well-behaved one so I always got the best of treatment and attention. This has affected my siblings up until now even in our 20s.
     
    tallulah likes this.

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