Handling kids with a mean streak

Discussion in 'Kids' started by Heatman, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    Kids grow with different set of attitude and characters, some appears to be the easy going type while some are a hurricane task to deal with. But everything is dependent on how the parents are actually bringing such kids up.

    Particularly to kids with a mean steak who even get violent where their desires are denied them, what do you normally do as a parent to tackle such kid's attitude and behavior?
     
  2. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    576
    Likes Received:
    219
    I have a nephew who is like that. I actually think that he has a criminal mind even during his toddler years. What we did was to make him scared of me. I would be mean to him. But take note, that was only to scare him and force my authority on him. But the drawback is that he becomes a brat when I am not around. And it came to pass that they moved to an apartment when the boy was 10. From then on, he had developed his criminal instincts. It's really sad because he is my eldest nephew.
     
    Heatman likes this.
  3. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2017
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    98
    I still cannot forget the day my 3 year old nephew when he pulled apart that pearl necklace from me and was quite happy seeing the results. That was what my then fiance had given me. I do not much like this guy who is now in his forties. (lol)
     
    Heatman likes this.
  4. janemarie

    janemarie Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    99
    Likes Received:
    31
    It starts from the beginning. From day one. One of the first words they learn is No! It is best though to explain why you are saying no, rather than to just say it. Just saying it arouses curiosity and an 'I want and will have' streak in the child. Explaining, however, why you are saying no to something, shows respect for the child and makes them feel grown up to learn something of worth.

    For example, 'Don't put your fingers in the electric socket or you may get an electric shock that will cause you pain and may kill you.' instead of 'Don't touch the electric socket.'

    Or, 'Don't throw a tantrum in the supermarket because everyone will look at you and you will feel embarrassed.' rather than, 'Shut up.'

    Children only know what we tell them. We shouldn't leave them to find out everything for themselves. They need guidance.
     
  5. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    Criminal mind you said? Haha, that's very funny @Alexandoy but I'm not really surprised because of the way he managed to play his ploy with you being mean to him as. Such children can pretend more than the devil when the person they fear is around, and they would bring out the brat in them once they get to be free from your presence. I think I did something like that when I was still around 7-10 years. My father's presence scares me to death, so I always crawl into my shell anytime he is around and behave as I like once he's gone.
     
  6. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Messages:
    353
    Likes Received:
    174
    Sometimes they do grow out of it though. My nephew was really spiteful when he was around 3-4 years old and I really disliked him as he was always hurting my son. I hated having to visit my sister back them as I knew there would be lots of tears and bad feeling. He would constantly hit my son or snatch toys away from him. It was very stressful.

    Today you could not meet a nicer man. He is kind, considerate and well mannered and wouldn't dream of hurting anyone. I suppose it was just a phase he was going through. My son however who was the gentle one became very difficult later in life so I guess you can't always tell.
     
    Heatman likes this.
  7. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2017
    Messages:
    180
    Likes Received:
    53
    The topic title just make me laugh! Omitting the 'r' made it to steak. I'm sure you meant 'streak'.:D

    Back to the topic, yes, for some reasons, some kids are devil's spawn. They bite, they kick, they push and bully other children, right from a very early age. It is so bad and sometimes I feel sorry for the parents, especially if you see the parents are trying their best. My question is this, where this child picked up such nasty habits from so early. Is it something in the genes or something they saw?
     
    Heatman likes this.
  8. Dana

    Dana New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2017
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    6
    When I first saw this thread title, I got a very humorous image in my head. Now that I know it's 'streak', I have to say that I don't have much experience with that, but I am very eager to learn how other parents deal with that sort of behavior, because I know that sooner or later, I will have to contend with that, too. In answer to your question, Tallulah, I do believe that kids pick up things from everywhere. The parents aren't always to blame. Society, school, television - you name it - they are all influencing our kids' behavior.
     
    Heatman likes this.
  9. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    I definitely believe that it's phases of growth and development. They simply cannot help with such behavior but I do believe that the parents still can have a hand in righting some of these unwarranted attitudes by giving them correction when needed and necessary. By completely overlooking them would have a huge effect on the time they would realize by themselves it's not a proper way to behave.
     
    littlewitch66 likes this.
  10. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    Thanks for pointing out that grammatical error in "Steak for Streak", it's funny how you did that but anyways, I have fixed that up now. About kids with such nasty habits, I don't really know if it's from genes, but I definitely believe that they pick up a few from their peer groups at school or playing grounds. Some do on the movies they see, it's why caution must be observed when feeding children movies. Any violent prone movies should be excluded from their viewing at all cost.
     
  11. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    You are absolutely right on this note, several variables influences a kids attitude and behavior, and a great chunk of it comes from their association outside their parents homes, at school, television they watch, camping etc. A parent can't be blamed 100% for all these, I can agree to that but where I would blame a parent is at failing to correct these attitudes once they found out. Some parents can be nonchalant about some certain things and it's really pisses me off seeing such a parent.
     
  12. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    56
    You just hope that there is a good mix of discipline and teaching and love and all that good stuff, but we all know this is not the case all the time. Each situation and child is different too and may require different levels of each of these, which makes it even more difficult, but doable with good effort.
     
  13. tyche

    tyche Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2016
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    63
    My parents were quite violent, so it always ended up with a hit from them or objects being thrown at me. My parents never let us misbehave and went unpunished, and we always get called out for our misdeeds.
     
  14. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    Wow, that's really harsh the way you put it about your parents. It seems they really were too hard on you when you were growing up, but I bet they were trying to mold you into someone better and responsible. Although I'm not advocating for Parent-child violence, it's never cool to always hit a child, because it psychologically affects them.
     
  15. tyche

    tyche Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2016
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    63
    @Heatman, Actually, what they did never
     
  16. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    You are quite correct on this @Holmes22, no two kids are exactly the same thing when they are growing up. If one as a parent gets it easy with one child doesn't mean others would follow the same foot steps. Child's individual differences plays a huge part in all these, and whichever way a kids turns out, with good efforts, care, support and love from the parents, the kid will turn to being good sooner than later.
     
  17. Natasha0717

    Natasha0717 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2017
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    11
    So much of it depends on if the child is generally "happy" or angry and unhappy by nature. An angry child, who needs a lot to make them happy, will most likely act out because of their dissatisfaction with life. Even children at an early age will begin showing signs of being naturally happy (meaning, just doesn't take much to keep them happy and content) - and those that are angry and even possibly depressed. It's just part of their personality and nature. Another thing that almost all children do is testing their limits....they really want to know how far they can go without actually "getting into trouble." That's instinct, and it's a way to see who is in charge and who will allow them to get away with things...for the child with a "true" mean streak, I would suggest a child psychologist....because this anger and urge to do mean things can and probably will get even worse as a teenager and an adult.
     
  18. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    If a child is having anger management issues, there is always a huge tendency of such child to be mean most times. There is nothing anger can't do, you have have an analysis drawn up from how it affects adults who actually can muster control over it and compare it to what it could do the kids who can easily give into it completely without holding back.

    It's important as a parent to always be on the lookout and very observant with how angry and self-disposed your child is and seek out means to help them handle their anger issues in a positive way, because leaving this unchecked would be a serious problem for them growing up.
     
    Natasha0717 likes this.
  19. remnant

    remnant Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2016
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    16
    Some kids feel alienated by one or both of their parents and when they learn this early in life, they tend to be devious. Its also good to use a stick and carrot policy to see what works best in the absence of other mitigating factors.
     
    Heatman likes this.
  20. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    97
    The truth is that most parents are like that, they always seem to have a special connection with a particular child of theirs, not that the other children wouldn't be loved but not to the extent of the attention given to the on so special to them. Just last week I decided to go to children Sunday mass service and a little girl came out and said that her mother hates her so much with tears rolling down her cheek. That child is bound to be affected both psychologically and emotionally as well.
     

Share This Page