Is it safe to let the baby unattended while crying?

Discussion in 'Babies' started by Nocturnal Writer, Jan 19, 2018.

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  1. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    We have six children and they are nurtured, cared and nourished by my wife. I have noticed from her that everytime our children are crying while they're still baby she never let it passed. She gave up her and attained to our crying child.

    But I notice from the nursery, the babies are left crying for several minutes. I was once asked an attendant why the baby is left crying for a long time. She said it is good for the baby to cry to aid their breathing. Is she right? What do you think?
     
  2. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    I agree that it is somehow good for the baby to cry when in the nursery. That means the baby is newly born. But for a baby that is more than a week old, I don't think it is good to let it cry for long .And with the crying baby in the nursery, of course, there's a limit to the duration of crying. When the baby continues to cry for more than 5 minutes then something may be wrong and it's not good anymore.
     
  3. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    I agree with your wife. I read that crying is good for practicing the lung function, but that doesn't mean we have to let the baby unattended. Leaving the baby unattended will make her feel insecure and not trust the people around her, as she has just come to the world and she feels really uncomfortable. If we always attend to her, she will feel loved and trust, and that makes her more independent later. I was always told always attending to babies will make them become really dependent, and I should "train" them since they were babies. I didn't believe in this saying and I didn't follow at all. I believe when kids feel secure and loved, they will be more independent.

    Moreover, I think it's not safe to leave the baby crying unattended, especially newborn baby, as she might be seeking for help or having difficulties, and if we don't attend to her and check out what it is, it might be really dangerous for the baby. Perhaps those in nursery has already been expert and they can differentiate if the cry is asking for help or just showing uncomfortable, but as a mom, I wouldn't want to take the risk.
     
  4. to7update

    to7update Active Member

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    We need to let them cry for a while, or else they will realize that as soon as they cry we will go running, and they start owning us like that lol. Sure, we also need to differentiate the different kinds of crying, some are urgent, others are not. :)
     
  5. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    You are absolute correct in your observation and disposition. I have recently read about an article the danger of letting the baby cries by themselves, making minding them not while they are crying especially for a longer period of time. That article pointed out that the personality of the baby would be greatly affected when they grow up. They will become unsecured and they would be a problematic kid someday. And many things which are for the disadvantage of the child in his growing up.
     
  6. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I think it's pretty old school to leave a baby crying for any length of time. These days thinking is different and it is not thought to be good to leave them in a distressed state for too long, after all, it's the only way they have of letting us know there is something wrong.

    However some babies get into the routine of crying because they want to be held all the time which can be difficult for a parent when she/he has things to do. In this case I would say have the baby close to you, let him hear your voice so that he knows he's not alone and when you have finished your chores you can pick him up and make a fuss of him. That's what I used to do.
     
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  7. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    Yes, I guess it depends on what we believe in. I have read parenting articles or books like what you said and I believe in that, moreover, I just can't leave my baby crying without going to check out what's happened. I also heard from some people that babies are smart to "manipulate" adults, if they know adults will go and attend them always when they cry, they will keep doing that. If adults do not entertain them, they will slowly stop crying. I read that yes, it's right the babies will eventually know nobody is going to entertain them and they will not cry anymore, but that is actually because they have lost trust in human beings and they learned that "this is how the world should be". That's why when they grow up, they might not trust or love others easily. Of course, this might be too extreme case, but I believe if we leave the babies unattended, they will not feel comfortable. It's actually the same for adults, if we are crying for help but found out nobody wants to help us, how will we feel?

    This is just what I believe and what I chose to do. It really depends on each parent's thoughts and also their availability. I understand not every parent can afford to attend to the baby all the time, we just have to choose what will be better for us and also the baby.

    I agree with @littlewitch66, my second child really needed me to carry her almost all day long even when she was sleeping, and she refused to be with other people, even my husband. I was glad I bought a baby sling, and that helped a lot. I think she is a sensitive child and she doesn't trust others easily, hence she wanted to be with me all the time. Though I was really tired taking care of her when she was young, I am glad she turns out to be good and started to trust other people slowly now.
     
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  8. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    Well, they are the nurse, so they definitely know what to do, right, since they are trained in doing that sort of thing. So we should just trust their judgement.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
  9. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    I think it is okay to let the baby cry for a few minutes but not more. Firstly, because the baby might be crying because he might be hungry or may have soiled his diapers and is in discomfort or is hurting somewhere. I think most mothers eventually come to recognise different cries for each of their baby's needs and can decide whether or not to attend to them immediately or to let them cry. There can be no generalized rule for such a thing, but each mother has to best understand and decide depending on her baby's needs.
     
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  10. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    The attendant is right in more than one way. The baby in the process not only breathes harder but if you attend them immediately they get used to comfort of your attention and keep crying unless attended. It can turn them into an obdurate or stubborn and persistently impatient (though not all of them) So letting them cry for a few minutes is nothing but to teach them to adjust with the situation. Although most of us prefer to attend our children as soon as they start crying.
     
  11. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    My mother would always say that crying has never been found out to kill anyone or a baby before. So therefore, if a baby is crying unnecessarily, after eating, bathing and dressing it to be comfortable, let her or him cry because it's definitely not going to do anything bad to the kid. Sometimes she refers to it as the baby doing mouth and lungs exercise, how funny my mother can be but looking closely at it, this seems very true.
     
  12. remnant

    remnant Member

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    Babies have different temperaments and some babies can get overwhelmed, throw caution to the wind and toss themselves on the ground where they may fall on objects. I have seen such grumpy kids especially girls and so it pays to watch over such kids in light of this.
     
  13. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    A baby cries for many reasons and some of them could need immediate attention. This reminds me of an incident while we are travelling by train. This child was crying non stop and the mother was trying to pacify the child but to no avail. My husband noticed that the socks that the child was wearing were very tight. We brought that to the notice of the mother and the moment the mother removed the socks the child stopped crying.
     

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