Never hurt your kid's self esteem.

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by firstcry, Feb 14, 2017.

  1. firstcry

    firstcry Active Member

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    A kid sees things through his parents' eyes so for a kid parent is the most influential person on earth. A parent should be careful not to hurt his self esteem and try to be compassionate with him. A kid is in a learning phase and it is quite common to do repeated mistakes. But what is more important is how to deal with it. Using harsh words often kills his confidence and adversely affect his self esteem. This is more harmful than a physical blow as it affects him psychologically.

    So an ideal parent should always encourage kids do things on their own and praise accomplishments, even small ones. There are many parents who unfavorably compare their kids with other children, may be his friend or neighbor. But this is an unhealthy tendency and the kid may feel worthless after this.
     
  2. kamai

    kamai Active Member

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    I agree with you completely and I try to encourage my daughter as best as I can, I know I'm not perfect but I try to be. I feel like it helps to tell our kids they are doing a great job when they accomplish something not mattering how little that something is. I always high five my toddler and say good job and she always feels great and is excited to try new things. I will never compare her to other kids as I hated that when I was a child and know how much it can lower ones self esteem. We have to be careful on how we talk to our children always as they learn from us.
     
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  3. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    You are absolutely right. In fact in school, we keep ourselves to hurting or insulting the school children for they're infirm and it could greatly affect not only his studies but in the development of his character. Though the scripture says that "spare the rod and you spoil the child". We discipline erring school children by telling them the things they did wrong and the result of such misbehavior. We, therefore, absolutely "chain" our hands, mouth to control uttering bad words or discouraging counsel to the school children.
     
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  4. Taliska

    Taliska Active Member

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    I was told that if I was telling ours off, I should be very clear that what he had done may be bad, but that he himself wasn't bad. Children don't need to hear that they are bad or worthless, because if they take it onboard, they can try to live up (or down) to that level. If everything they do is bad, why bother trying? There's a difference between damaging self-esteem and reining in arrogance or overconfidence, but again you can do that by focusing on their actions, not them as a person.
     
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  5. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    This thread reminds me when I scolded my daughter for the first time. It was about the wrong use of an appliance and I was fuming. After yelling at her, I was surprised to see her crying uncontrollably as if I had hit her. That's when I realized that words are stronger and are more painful than a spanking. I didn't tell my wife but that taught me a lesson not to be harsh with a child. And to think that our daughter values me more than anyone else, I had really been harsh on her.
     
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  6. pwarbi

    pwarbi Active Member

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    Self esteem at any age is important and I feel that a lot of parents intentionally or not, don't take it as seriously as they should do and especially at an early age. Undermining your children at ANY age is going to affect their confidence and that is something that can have a negative impact for a number of years and in some cases they ill never recover from.

    That may sound a bit dramatic but a lot of adults that have been to counselling for issues have been told that the root of the problem is the confidence (or lack of it) that was instilled into them from an early age. If you are told you are worthless or at least made to feel that way, you will eventually start to believe it.
     
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