News make the rounds about family members molesting kids. What is your view on this?

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by iamawriter, Mar 1, 2018.

  1. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    We read news about cousins and other family members molesting kids. How comfortable are you leaving your kid with male members of the family? Have you had suspicions that all is not well?
     
  2. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    I find it very disgusting to read about such news and that really shakes your faith in your own relatives. I have never found myself in a situation where I had to leave my son in care of other male members of the family as all our relatives stay apart and its only the 3 of us. However, I do leave my son with my mother and my brother sometimes for a day or two and my mother is always around.
     
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  3. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    It is being like an Ostrich that buries its head in the sand. It is time people wake up and be vigilant about family members. It is not difficult to find out. Their body language when they are around babies is a clear indication that thety have evil thoughts. When a child grows up it is important that they are educated about inappropriate touches,
     
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  4. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    It depends on the personality of your relatives. I am very comfortable with some of mine but not all because there are some who have the tendency to abuse a child especially when the child is a brat. Instilling discipline is different from abusing that's why some of those abusive adults would always reason out discipline why they hit the child, that is not acceptable. It is imperative that you should know very well the people with whom you will entrust your children.
     
  5. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    So true..It is time that we wake up now. But still, there are so many who refuse to accept that such things happen. There is an NGO in Pune which has been working for exactly this issue for the last 25-30 years and they have created a telephone helpline for kids who are being sexually molested at home or outside. It is called Dnyandevi Childline and when they started in 2010, they used to receive about 15-20 calls per day which has escalated to around 300 calls per day. Of course, not all those calls are of kids who are being molested, some kids only need to talk to some real person as their parents do not have time. But the ones who are being molested indeed form a major and significant portion among those kids. And this is only in Pune city and surrounding areas, imagine what it must be like if the whole country is taken into account!
     
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  6. harijobs

    harijobs Member

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    Whenever I read that news like own family members abusing the child the first question that pops into my mind is how do they get that thought of abusing a child of your own family? Why? It greatly depends upon the character of your relatives to whom you are leaving your child with. My mom and dad when I was young never leave me and my brother to anybody other than my grandparents and my aunt. So I really don't know how are these things should be stopped.
     
  7. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    This must have been going on relentlessly as the thought that family members could do such things was unthinkable. But now when some have been exposed it is time one avoids occasions to make that happen. Having said that it is indeed sad that blood can no longer be relied upon.
     
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  8. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I have heard and read about such stories but as far I am concerned I am not uncomfortable leaving a child with a relative unless I know he is real bad guy. In fact, there is none in my relatives whom I distrust or heard a bad thing about. However, the society is getting to its lowest ethics lately and one should be careful.
     
  9. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Yeah, we can say that the morals are dropping to the very bottom these days, however from what I have read and heard, this has always been the case. Only difference now is that, there are NGOs and social workers who are working against it and so more cases are being reported as opposed to olden days when such support and system to help you of such distress was quite lacking.
     
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  10. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    Seems like it happens more and more these days but you also have to factor in the news cycle, which makes everything feel depressing, at least for me it does. It is terrible but no doubt is nothing new, and you just hope that awareness is at least spread and something can change.
     
  11. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    I find it sickening to read news like that. I just can't imagine how could a human being does that to a child, and even someone you know well.

    I might be over-protective, but I always prefer to take care of my kids on my own, and not really trust other people. I don't mean I am afraid they will molest or sex abuse my kids, I have trust on them in these areas, but as my parenting style is different from them, so I always prefer to look after my kids all the time, especially when they are still young. I guess the only person I can really trust is my husband, though we might not be totally on the same page, I know how he will guide or spend time with the kids.
     
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  12. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    I'm quite familiar with
     
  13. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    Sadly most of the time it does not show as such action is done when no one is around and the victim is not in a position to report. It is only now such things come to light with the use of CC TVs. It is therefore advisable that every household should have a CC TV. This is more necessary where maids take care of children as well.
     
  14. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    In fact, acts like molestation or abusing a child make a person devil or the act is done when the person loses all his senses so the use of CC TV can help you catch a person but that will not help stop the incident which has already been done. The best way of prevention is to be careful and do not leave your children with people having dubious character. It's really not hard to understand the mentality of such people if you keep a close eye on their activities.
     
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  15. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    That is very true Mika. Such pervert usually always have some tell tale signs of their unhealthy behavior and parents can catch these signs if they observe carefully. Also, they should pay more attention to their kids and how the kids react or behave when the parents leave them in care of these people. If the kid appears very uncomfortable, scared etc. they should not leave them in their care.
     
  16. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I never really leave my granddaughter with any male members. She either stays with her other nanny or me. Sometimes she has sleepovers but I always know the parents well and there is always a female present.

    I would never leave my granddaughter with anyone I did not trust 100% because I think with most mums/grandmums, and it pains me to say it, there is always a little bit of concern that something bad could happen if she were left with a man I did not know well enough. I remember once her other nanny had a male lodger at her house and although she was never left with him I did not like him. I just felt uneasy in his presence. Luckily he did not stay long so it didn't become an issue.
     
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  17. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    We did not face this as we never had to leave our daughter in a playschool or with friends. If we had to leave our daughter at our relatives' place that was for short duration and all of them were our close relative whom we trusted 100%. However, most playschools that I know in India and Australia have 100% female staff although I am not sure about other countries. But what I believe is that private baby sitters act weirdly in some cases like stealing food, not taking proper care of the children and in some cases behaving unethically (you know what I mean).
     
  18. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    There is nothing wrong with leaving your kids in the company of a male relative as long as you can trust them. This family structure and support has been given a bad name based on all molestation that occurs in the immediate family. I remember growing up and often being left with my older cousin who was probably in his twenties. He would look after me and my older sister some weekends while my parents are out and about. But I guess so much has changed and parents have to be extra careful and super vigilant. It is also advised that mothers (or fathers) periodically check their kids bodies for any kind of unusual marks or bruises.
     

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