Sibling rivalry

Discussion in 'Kids' started by iamawriter, May 11, 2018.

  1. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    We as siblings never competed with each other when we were kids. There was acceptance that one sibling could sing well, the other was smart in maths so on and so forth. Sadly it all started when we were on our own married and settled independently. Somehow the green eyed monster showed its ugly head.

    What's with you guys?
     
  2. Hova

    Hova New Member

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    My case is the exact opposite, I'm the middle kid with an elder brother and then there is our sister. We used to fight all the time as kids and constantly telling on each other, but now that we are all grown we outgrew that problem.
     
  3. harijobs

    harijobs Member

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    Well, I am not married yet and I have a younger brother who is just entering his college life. Even though we love each other a lot we fight like a world war is going on over almost all the things as we never get on with the same stuff. We are polar opposites yet we both sometimes hangout like best buddies. We had never held any grudges against each other but my mom and dad compares us and praises him a lot. I really don't know if they do that to make me feel low or to make us rivals. So I got fed up with that and made up mind because some people never change and some things never change. :rolleyes:
     
  4. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    We competed with our peers at school and not with our siblings but sadly this did not continue in adulthood. There were reasons as some were financially hard up and that brought bitterness. And once children became adults they took over and that meant not much interaction between siblings.
     
  5. Hova

    Hova New Member

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    I guess in your case giving each other some space might get rid of the tension. I really hope that things will get better with time because although sometimes family drives you crazy and have ways of getting under your skin, there shouldn't be any bad blood.
     
  6. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Well for me, we did have a lot of sibling rivalry. I was the middle child with an older sister and a younger brother. I did well in studies better than my sister and she was jealous of me for that while she was more outgoing and exuberant while I was shy and introverted which led me to feel envious of her. As my brother was much younger than us, he got more attention and I used to be mostly left to my own devices. But now after so many years, it all doesn't matter any more and we get along fairly well.
     
  7. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    I was third in the brood of 4 boys so you can imagine the sibling rivalry when we were young. I remember the fistfights against my elder brother and my younger brother. But the worst was the fistfight between the eldest and the 2nd eldest that almost resulted in a shooting when the 2nd eldest was beaten and resorted to getting the gun of my father. Looking back, all those fights were due to sibling rivalry. Fortunately, our relationship turned for the better when we had our own families.
     
  8. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    I have noticed that most of the time it is the parents that draw a wedge between their children as they openly favour one over the other and also make unfavourable comparisons We have had that experience but somehow that did not affect our bonding while still under the same roof. It all started once each of us was independent.
     
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  9. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    Strange that it was opposite with us. We kind of accepted our respective situations while we were kids. One was a good singer, one good in house work, one daring and so on. Probably mother saw to it that we behaved and did not react. Our status in life later prompted the green eyed monster to show up.
     
  10. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    I think it was more because we all were of different temperaments, so even though my mother was very strict and firm with how we behaved, we still had a lot of tussles, especially me and my sister. Now we have grown up and though our economic conditions are varying, we get along well and there is not much jealousy, I won't say it is completely absent, but not so much as to create major differences.
     
  11. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    What is going on in our world is kind of odd as one gets mature jealousy should fly out the window. Many are jealous of me as though I am the youngest I have kind of left a stamp of success around me which they are not comfortable with . They expect me to lie low. And this has drifted me away from them.
     
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  12. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    Well, in my family, the terminology 'acceptance' simply does not exist. We were raised to compete. It has always been a war ever since we, the kids were born. I am a firstborn and I have two brothers. My younger brother is three years younger while the last born is nine years younger than me. There was and still is no competition between me and my youngest brother, or even between my siblings due to the massive age gap, but me and my other brother, we've always been at each others throats concerning everything. Like many firstborns, it all started when he was born and took the spotlight off me by force. Of course that feeling dies eventually but since then, my brother has been trying to be better than me in everything. He hasn't yet, but, who knows what the future holds right?
     
  13. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Yes, success does that to the best! I see that kind of rivalry with my husband and his brothers. My husband is a pretty successful artist but even though he is successful, art does not bring much money. My husband's brother is an engineer and heads a large engineering college and is quite affluent but he is still jealous of my husband because of his social status and standing. :rolleyes:
     
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  14. Hova

    Hova New Member

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    My thoughts are if the sibling rivalry keeps on going even after you've all grown up, then there must be an intervention of some sort because it is only going to get worse.
     
  15. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    We are no longer friends that we were in the good old days and have kind of drifted each doing our own thing being fully occupied with our own activities that others have no interest in. For example no one in my family is here nor on any other sites where I write.
     
  16. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    It is normal for one sibling to compete with the other but in our case we kind of accepted what was going on around us. I remember once my brother brought some friends over and I heard him whisper to them that I was very good in my studies. But all this disappeared later in our life. Sad but true:(
     
  17. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    Being the eldest of my siblings I never faced this or maybe we were treated equally by our parents so we never felt it. There is not much difference in our social and financial status in present time so there was no rivalry even at this stage. Maybe what our parents taught us helped us too. They taught us to love and respect each other and stay together. We are doing the same although all of us live separately but have a close bonding in between us.
     
  18. iamawriter

    iamawriter Active Member

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    When everyone is equally placed socially and financially there is no question of envy or jealousy and you are certainly blessed that you belong to that category. The first sin of jealousy was committed by Cain who killed Abel as Abel was loved more. It is the unequal levels that create that rivalry
     
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  19. Hova

    Hova New Member

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    I do believe parents are to blame when it comes to such matters. There are some parents who don't even bother to hide the fact that they have favorites between their kids. Overtime this builds up to even bigger problems like siblings not speaking for years or even not having contact until death.
     
  20. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    I don't think there should be an intervention of any sort. Sibling rivalry is just a natural occurrence that disappears with time and maturity. In a way, it is even positive reinforcement because it challenges individuals to do better than each other and always keep the spotlight on themselves. I don't know if that only happened with me and my brother but from what I have heard from friends and family, being competitive makes siblings rise to greater heights and outdo each other to a point where they look back and actually praise the competition because of where it has led them to in life.
     

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