The Proper Birth Spacing

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by Binu, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. Binu

    Binu Member

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    If you want to have a second child, what is the proper birth spacing? How many years do you actually need to wait to have the second child. Government's Maternity Program in our country promotes 5 years of birth spacing, however, 2-3 years is the most common birth spacing.
     
  2. Decentlady

    Decentlady Active Member

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    The female body needs 1 year post delivery to recover to its fullest. However, since the recommendation for breast feeding is 2 years minimum as per WHO, it is evident that a woman is in negative balance while she actively feeds.

    Therefore, ideal spacing would be 3 years to start with.
     
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  3. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

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    My opinion on the spacing of birth is 2 or 3 years for optimum advantages. The woman’s body is at ease at 2 years after giving birth so she is again ready for another pregnancy. As with the baby, a gap of 2 years is good since their age gap will not be much so the siblings can relate to each other. However, that small gap of 2 to 3 years between births is quite tedious for the parents. Think when the first child is 4 and the second is 2 years old and the mother gets pregnant again huh. That would be a problem in taking care of the children.
     
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  4. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    I go with @Alexandoy's suggestion to space the birth of another child to 2 or 3 years. Or it is much better if the gap is 3 to 4 years. I remember when I got married at the age of 21, I was still studying in college at that time. I didn't job to support my wife. I was depending from my father's meager income. I completed my college course and found a job in the bank. My 2nd child came after 4 years. Then followed by another child after 3 years. It is indeed a manageable to have a better spacing for your children.
     
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  5. Jasmin Cottontail

    Jasmin Cottontail Active Member

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    I don't have a baby yet but I am 6 years older than my younger sister after me and I guess that's good since my parents were able to spend plenty of time with me alone, and I as well enjoyed it. However, I think the ideal birth spacing should be 2 years so that the kids can still enjoy and understand their siblings because of a not so far age gap.
     
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  6. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    There is a difference of opinion on this particular topic. While most of us believe that a gap of 3-5 years is most suitable in between two kids which will enable parents to take best care of both the kids some others believe that one should have all their child at an early stage and grow them at the same time so you become free and think about your career and other things of life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2017
  7. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    I agree with you @ptahm22, as I too feel that a gap of 3-5 years in between two children is ideal for mother as well the kids. The first born understands most things by the time he is 4-5 so it is easy to handle him and devote more time on second one. Not only that but the first born also begins to take more interest in younger one and even helps in small things like sitting with him or playing with him.
     
  8. Corena

    Corena New Member

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    There is always a lot of controversy over this question. Doctors say 2 - 3 years for health reasons concerning the mothers and they are completely right about that. However, I feel that having them closer together is better. My sisters and I were spaced 2 to 3 years apart, me being the oldest, leaving my youngest sister 6 years younger than me. I have never been all that close with my sisters, and when I say close I mean like best friends.

    But I have three babies of my own now. Two boys and a baby girl. My boys are only about a year and a half apart in births and they are now 8 and 9 years old. They are the very best of friends. They always have been and I absolutely love how close they are to one another, because I know that no matter what, they will always have each other and be there for one another throughout their lives, even when I can no longer be. And now I have a baby girl who is only two years old, leaving her brothers quite a bit older than her. And as she has grown, I have realized that it was so much easier raising two together than one alone honestly. I went through all their stages together and we could all three do the same things together, where as with my little girl, I can't do a lot of things with my sons now because she needs more attention and can't do the same things that the boys and I can do. And at times gets lonely and wants someone to play with besides me, but her brothers are so much older that they don't want to sit and play with a two year old all the time. That makes her upset and she will continuously pick on them and annoy them, trying to get their attention. And I feel sad that she doesn't have someone like my boys did. They did everything together, they were never lonely to have someone to play with, and they were much happier kids.
     
  9. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    My parents had four kids in a span of 5 years. My mother didn't work and she preferred to have babies within the first few years of their marriage because she wanted to be over and done with taking care of babies at some point instead of reliving the experience every two or three years. It was fun because our ages are so close and our interests are so much alike. We shared a lot of common experiences - good and bad - and we're a team then and now. Though we've gone through countless fights and trials, we've remained close to each other. I don't remember being deprived just because another baby came along so close to my own birth. How can I remember when I was just a baby myself? :)
     
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  10. Mika

    Mika Active Member

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    @Miches that's another aspect of having all your kids withing first few years so you can take care of your children in the initial stage of your married life and then spend some quality time for yourself when you have done with initial stage of baby-care. I have seen amny mothers start their career afresh once their children have reached highschool stage and able to look after themselves.
     
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  11. Trixen

    Trixen New Member

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    The physical capacity of the woman who just gave birth should be considered. But in my opinion, if you think you can raise a child earlier than what is usually expected, then I guess it's okay.
     
  12. harijobs

    harijobs Member

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    I would say 2 - 3 years of gap will be good because there will only be a little age difference between the siblings which will help them to bond well and understand each other. My aunt's two sons have an age difference of 6 years which makes the elder son dominate the little one. He will constantly beat him up, hurt him physically and emotionally and he never treats him like a brother. He never plays with him nor he will join him in his group when he plays with his other friends just because he is little. This has created a major problem psychologically and because of constant disappointments and bullying by his own brother he has developed an aggressive attitude creating a whole lot of problems in school and in the house. She now worries why she made the mistake of leaving so much gap between her children. So, I would strongly recommend not to leave a gap more than 3 years.
     
  13. remnant

    remnant Member

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    I think the first two children should be closely spaced to each other with a difference of a few years so as to enrich and grow together in company. The other children can come later say, after 5 years. Thats the model in our family and its was quite good judging from our experiences.
     
  14. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    I think it depends on how many babies you still want to have and what age you are at the moment. I mean, I have a cousin who has 4 children and spaced around a year or two since she was still quite young when she had her first baby. My aunt was around 40 when she had her first baby and they didn't have another one after that. Having 5 years of space would sound good to me but 2-4 years would also be nice.
     
  15. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    My brother and I have a rather large age gap. He is older than me by 8 yrs. I was told that my parents never really planned the timing of making babies, they just went for it until a baby was produced. So I think ideal gap between siblings would be 2 to 4 yrs. so that they can relate to each other.
     
  16. tallulah

    tallulah Active Member

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    This is highly debatable and based on a number of factors. Some say two years is ideal while others would argue for a shorter or longer period. But I think it's largely dependent on the mother's health firstly and secondly if there are reasons why she cant have kids sooner or even at all. After a difficult pregnancy or CS surgery, doctors usually advise parents to wait up to three years before trying for another child.
     
  17. NicholasMukuha

    NicholasMukuha Member

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    Well, I guess it depends on the readiness of the parents to welcome another visitor. If they are financially stable, in my opinion it is better to space them between 3 years each. Not only because 3 is my favourite number, but I believe within this period the mother would have recovered fully.

    However, if the parents are not financially stable, then I believe they should wait a while longer. Probably 5 to 7 years. This will allow them time to plan ahead for their children.
     
  18. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I agree with 2 to 3 years. This number of years allow a mother to fully recover her strength, and be able to give ample time to raise a child and give him/her attention before another baby snatches that time and attention. And yes, 2 to 3 years is not a very big age difference for the siblings to be able to relate to each one's preference in music, fads, etc.
     
  19. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Great to have a perspective coming from someone who can tell us the advantage or disadvantage as to the number of years. And yes, you're right regarding a child getting enough attention before the parents move on to another child. I think sometimes it's a child's feeling that he/she never received enough attention that causes some siblings to fight often, especially when they're still young.
     
  20. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Wow! That really sounds great. You're right -- when siblings' ages are close, they would not have difficulty finding something in common.

    I'm sure your mother is so happy that she was able to raise you well and really close at that, and she must be happy to continue with her career once you're all grown up.
     
  21. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I guess that's one of the sad truth about a big age gap -- older siblings manipulate the younger ones. I hope he eventually changes for the better. Poor kid. But I guess sometimes, it also depends on a child's personality or upbringing because I've seen some kids with big age gaps but still end up best buddies, and I find that really cute.
     
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  22. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    That is true, @tallulah. Doctors do advise to wait for three years at the very least before having another child due to health reasons. So this is a really big consideration even if parents want another child again after one or two years. The mother's health should not be risked especially in cases of high-risked pregnancies.
     
  23. amitkokiladitya

    amitkokiladitya Active Member

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    I'm happy with a single child. Personally, I don't want to plan a second child, but for all those who want I think a gap of 5 years is the best. By this age the first child becomes mature enough to handle things on his own. This makes handling the new born easy.
     
  24. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    I think 3 years is the ideal period a mother parent should wait before going on lap of another 9 months. This 3 year period actually allows the mother enough time to recover well and also even the already born child to at least grow up to a reasonable level that much work from the mother would reduce on him or her, which would entirely allow the mother time to focus on the new pregnancy.

    Although I have seen some African parents and mothers who only give a one year spacing, can you believe that? But it's actually happening in our society today. They stop the already born child breastfeeding immediately they get pregnant under one year gap. This is not good but they still do it.
     
  25. thisnthat

    thisnthat Active Member

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    My first and second and second and third kids are about 2 1/2 years apart. My last one if five years younger than the one before her and ten years younger than the first born. That's kind of a big difference. I guess it really depends on how many kids you plan to have.

    2-3 years apart seems like pretty good spacing. They are still close enough in age to share a lot of things, which helps.
     
  26. harijobs

    harijobs Member

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    Thanks for your concern. Since he is getting a therapy now he is slowly changing and he is quite good and friendly to everyone even to his elder brother. I am happy that he is changing and he is now really good in school with the improved grades and punctuality. I hope he continues to be like this. :)
     
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  27. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    We decided to have the spacing to be at least 3 years as I would like to breastfeed my baby for at least 2 years and also spend more time with my eldest at that time. As I knew when I am pregnant, I would not feel really well so I think 3 year gap would be nice. There are many people telling me 2 year gap is perfect, but when I considered I would be pregnant while my eldest was still a toddler, then I don't think it's a good idea for me. Moreover, I think a 3 year old kid understands better and takes better care of the baby too.
     

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