When a mother can't bond with her baby

Discussion in 'Babies' started by littlewitch66, May 3, 2018.

  1. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I had a very difficult pregnancy with my son. I had a low lying placenta and was hospitalised for 9 weeks at the end of my pregnancy and then I had an elected c-section. When he was born he was cold so was taken to the special care unit which meant that when I came round from surgery I didn't see him.

    The next day I was told by the staff that I could see him but the pain was so bad and I felt so ill that it was difficult to get to the special care unit. They showed him to me and I felt like I was looking at someone else's baby. Luckily after I held him and fed him I did begin to bond with him and by the time I went home I was fine. With my daughter I had a normal delivery and it was completely different as I was awake while she was being born and could hold her right away.

    I was reading an article where it reported that some mothers find it hard to bond with their baby for various reasons. For those of you who have had children, both mums and dads, did you bond with your baby immediately?
     
  2. to7update

    to7update Active Member

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    My wife did bond immediately, but there are women who suffer from depression after giving birth, and should be followed by a specialist doctor, to help them overcome that. When people are depressed, they simply can't enjoy the best things life has to offer.
     
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  3. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    During the era when I was born, the milk bottle was the most popular and breastfeeding seemed to be the domain of poor families. But breastfeeding came into fashion some 20 or 30 years ago with the campaign of our department of health. Now, the new mothers say that they felt different when the baby was brought to them. I know that some mothers are afraid to care for their baby because the infant looks fragile. That's also how I feel that's why I got hold of my daughter only when she was 1 month old.
     
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  4. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Since I have only one child, there is nothing for me to compare to about how well or poorly I bonded. I had a C-section while delivering my son but as technology was quite advanced, I was given lumbar anesthesia so was awake while he was delivered and then since I could not hold him afterwards due to surgery, he was simply brought close to me, I rubbed by cheeks to his and gave him a partial hug. He was then kept in the same room as me later. So I had no difficulty bonding with him. But I still found it a bit very strange, almost surreal, initially when he was brought to me.
     
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  5. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    Having had a c-section and a normal delivery I can honestly say despite the pain of labour it is so much better. Being able to hold my little baby straight after was such a good feeling completely different to the c-section. If you've had surgery it's just not the same as you have to deal with the pain afterwards.

    I remember someone telling me I had the "easy way out" by having a c-section. It really isn't so don't let people kid you that it is.
     
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  6. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    My son was born premature at seven months and he had to stay in an incubator for a week. Although we were separated by the glass box and the machines, I didn't feel that there was less bonding. I was there at the NICU almost all the time the hospital allowed me and I was communicating with my child on a different level. I can feel his pain when tears flowed down his cheeks as the doctor inserted some tubes inside his mouth to probe his body's reaction to milk. The doctor didn't seem hopeful about his survival but on the seventh day, the little champ was out of the incubator and we were finally allowed to sleep together in the hospital bed. The irony of it was that we had to stay longer at the hospital because my blood pressure just won't go down.
     
  7. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Wow! How can people think that a surgery is an easy way out? That is so disgusting! With my pregnancy, I was having a few complications such as hypertension, increased blood sugar during the last month etc. so there was no way I could have had a normal delivery. And I actually missed taking care of my son properly for the first couple of months after delivery, except nurse him. And I actually miss those days!
     
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  8. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I was really offended by the remark although I didn't say anything. Those early days with your baby are so important and if you are in pain it's so much harder to do all the things you would after a normal delivery. I definitely bonded more quickly with my daughter than I did with my son even though I grew to love them both equally.
     

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