When you can't conceive normally

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Vinaya, Dec 14, 2016.

  1. Vinaya

    Vinaya Member

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    What will you do when you can't conceive normally? Will you go for adoption or go for in-vitro fertilization?
    If you adopt, you will save an orphan, if you go through in-vitro you will have to spend a lot of money to have a baby.
     
  2. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    My wife had difficulty in conceiving due to problems with her not so active ovary. After some failed attempts with the fertility pill, we were advised to undergo IVF – in-vitro fertilization where the process involves fertilizing the egg with the spem in a test tube. But the procedure is to be done in Singapore, a very expensive procedure that we couldn’t afford. Now my wife and I are past our prime and the only recourse is adoption. But we both disagree with that so we are left with no children and only our dogs for our companions.
     
  3. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

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    I have one teacher who is married for 8 years but doesn't get pregnant. I have made her pregnant when we exclusively talked each other in a closed door. I knew from her that she had already seen a gynecologist and the doctor said she could normally conceive. Nothing is wrong with her. She is productive. Same with her hubby. The only problem was her hubby was a drug dependent, drug addict, and a sadist. Thus, she kept herself always away from her husband. I advice her to accept the reality about her hubby and do her best to make him happy. I told her to prepare the favorite food of her hubby, to take care of him when he arrives. After a month, she confided that she's pregnant.
     
  4. Miches

    Miches Active Member

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    If I can afford it, I'll certainly give a large chunk of my money to have my own child through IVF if I can't have one through natural means. If not, I am also open to adoption. Adoption has its own complications, though. Some grown adopted children I know have been unhappy/restless after finding out that they were adopted. This can be emotionally devastating for both child and parent.
     
  5. Decentlady

    Decentlady Active Member

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    I feel there is nothing better and bonding than having your own child. I feel adopted children at some point will be the cause of contempt from their foster parents.

    Not all children turn out to be good and smart as every parent wishes but this is still well tolerated if it is your own flesh and blood.

    It is easier to blame and harass an adopted child for even trivial issues.

    Thus, I rather have an IVF than adopt a child.
     
  6. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    If I have the means, I would prefer IVF because it assures me that the child would be my own flesh and blood. If I do not have the means, I would probably go for adoption, preferably the child of a relative who cannot afford to raise a child, if there will be such. In case I do adopt, I would make sure to tell him/her of the fact that he/she is adopted to avoid any ill-feelings when the child grows up. Better be honest with him/her when he/she is already able to understand the concept.
     
  7. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    You're right, Miches. I know of the fact that some adopted kids become restless after finding out they're adopted. One of our family friends had an adopted son after failing to conceive for about 10 years. When the child found out, he stopped going to school, disobeyed his adoptive parents, etc. The adoptive parents love the child as their own so they did their best to fix his issues by taking him to a psychologist. It's a good thing that helped the child realize how lucky he is and everything has turned out fine now.

    The family who adopted him are well-off and never treated him bad. They gave him everything like they would to their real child - a good education, a loving home, etc.

    I just don't understand why adopted children who end up having good lives will feel bad about the fact that they're adopted. They should feel grateful that they did not end up in the dump like many abandoned children.

    I would understand it if the child will want to know about his biological parents because it kind of leaves a void in one's life, but to rebel against one's adoptive parents despite them treating you well, I don't get the logic.
     
  8. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    Well thankfully I had no trouble conceiving but I don't know if we could have raised the money for IVF as we weren't particularly well off all those years ago. I would have no trouble adopting a child if this was the only way. I know it's nice to think a child is your own flesh and blood but there are many adopted children who have happy lives and reward their adoptive parents a hundred times over. There are also many children who give their natural parents a terrible life. Sometimes that's just the way it is.
     
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  9. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Yes, that is also true. Sometimes, it's our own flesh and blood who gives us the most terrible pain, while some adopted kids turn out to be really good children. I guess that's how life is - sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
     
  10. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    I think regular joe's would just opt for adoption, and the rich people and celebrities would opt for in-vitro fertilization because they simply can afford it, and would include their genes in the baby.
     
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  11. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Yes, I guess you're correct. IVF is too costly for regular joe's.
     
  12. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I can think of quite a few celebrities who have adopted children, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Madonna, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman and when I googled it there are many others. What a shame that none of these relationships mentioned lasted, in fact Tom Cruise has been described as an 'absent father' to his natural child with Katie Holmes as he doesn't bother with her.

    Some people do not realise that having a child is a lifelong commitment not to be taken lightly. It reminds me of those who adopt cute puppies and then tire of them once they realise what hard work they are. Maybe that's a bit harsh as there are many people who adopt children that make wonderful parents but I guess none of us are quite prepared for all the challenges that parenthood will bring.
     
  13. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    @Elsa, In the US though, the regular Joe's there are somehow able to afford IVF, they just need to have a high paying job to do so. Over here, you really need to be very rich like Dra. Belo or Joel Cruz to be able to do it. lol.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2018
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  14. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Yes, it is sad to note that some parents are unable to fulfill their role to its truest sense like you mentioned. I cannot truly understand how some parents are able to ignore/neglect their children.

    I also agree that no parent will ever be prepared "for all the challenges that parenthood will bring", however, we do our best to cope and learn, and eventually we get through it. Sometimes it becomes too overwhelming and we may feel like giving up but parenting is a lifelong job we can never resign from so we overcome the challenges the best way we can.
     
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  15. Kakashi2020

    Kakashi2020 Member

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    If we had that problem, we would choose IVF because there's nothing like having a child of your own but before doing it, I would pray and ask God first to bless us with a child. In times of crisis and problems I always ask God for a solution and everytime I pray, miracles do happen in ways I can't think of, Prayers do help a lot.
     

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