Are you a helicopter parent?

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by firstcry, Feb 3, 2017.

  1. firstcry

    firstcry Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2016
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    29
    As you know a helicopter parent is often over protective and do things for his kid even if it has to be done by the kid himself. Like in homework the parent will take care of it and do it at home. But this is an unhealthy tendency and by doing so we are actually killing his problem solving skills. A little bit of stress is good for kid which will only help in boosting his stamina. So instead of doing his work an ideal parent should guide him whenever needed.

    There are many indications of a helicopter parent like accompanying him wherever he goes even if it is of a short distance, always warn him about dire consequences etc. Like let him run and he may fall sometimes; but as you know experience is the best teacher your only focus should be on his safety and not in stopping him from doing things.
     
    to7update likes this.
  2. Taliska

    Taliska Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2016
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    33
    It is a bit difficult to be a helicopter parent to a toddler, because you have to keep a very close eye on them anyway. How close you are has to be age-appropriate though. After all, the aim is to raise independant, functional, adults and children do need to learn to stand on their own two feet. A bit of independence, like letting them play in a secure garden while you are watching but not interefering, Kindergarten, and playing with friends can all help them learn to be independent. Learning to get back up when they fail or fall is part of that.

    Helicopter parenting is when you continue doing everything when the child is in school or college, or even go to job interviews with them. I don't know what parents who do that are thinking, since very few employers will hire someone who brings their mother to a job interview!
     
  3. Decentlady

    Decentlady Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    214
    Likes Received:
    50
    Well, parents are parents. Some are overcaring others do just the right amount of care.

    I still see a lot of parents being of such nature in the conservative societies and it's quite common and acceptable.

    I think this could be a variable concept from a community to a community. While its not acceptable to some for others it is the norm.
     
  4. to7update

    to7update Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    75
    Helicopter parent, I like this expression. :) I have to say I am not, but my wife might tend to be an helicopter mom, as she fears as lot of things. :)

    I try to give my kid responsibilities and autonomy, he is already 9 after all. Just the other day we were about to make soup and we noticed we had no carrots, so I asked him to go to the supermarket get some, first time, 5 minute walking distance. The wife was in shock :D, but everything went out smoothly and he even brought the correct change. :)
     
  5. moondebi

    moondebi Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    8
    I landed up to this thread to find out what a helicopter parent is, and it's indeed unique!
    However, it is fear that often makes the parents overprotective, and these days people having one or two kids makes the situation more like that. And, it is not easy either to let a child fall and learn. If parents are actively involved in the upbringing process of their children, they're bound to look overprotective over a period of time.
     
    firstcry likes this.
  6. kamai

    kamai Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    65
    I do consider myself a helicopter parent as I am over protective and don't want my toddler to get hurt. She is still very young so I must keep a close eye on her at all times. As she grows up I will give her some opportunities to do things herself so she won't feel I'm over restricting her and to not deprive her from her learning process. Obviously I will be careful with the choices she makes but I have noticed she is starting to be independent and wants to do things herself now.
     
  7. to7update

    to7update Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    75
    Yeah, you are right here, but keeping our kid inside a bubble is not a good idea, because sooner or later that bubble will pop and the kids will be unprepared for reality. Nothing like letting them see and explore the world by themselves, even if we can obviously guide them, from a distance. :)
     
  8. Nocturnal Writer

    Nocturnal Writer Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    719
    Likes Received:
    81
    It is, of course, the duty and responsibility of every parent to guide, educate, and to protect his child. But for showing over protection to his kid, I think that is something which could give a negative influence on the character development of the child. It should be done tactfully but not all the time.It would be great loss for a child if his parent would be no longer attending him.
     
  9. firstcry

    firstcry Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2016
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    29
    Absolutely, happy kids are not perfect kids. I have seen parents buy things whenever kids would like to have it, especially in the case of stubborn kids. But sometimes we need to let them know what happens if they do not get the thing they want. This boosts their inner power to deal with negative results.

    Kids who are not able to handle failure would be a failure in real life. Nowadays we can see a lot news about children committing suicide just before the exam results are about to come out. They do it due to fear of low marks or failure in exams. They don't have the courage to face it as they are not trained to fight the fear out.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2017
  10. firstcry

    firstcry Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2016
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    29
    ha..ha.. I was also not familiar with this word and just because of curiosity I have gone through an article on this. I think it's an apt word to express the meaning like having an aerial view. A helicopter parent is also known cosseting parent

    I think there are all valid reasons to become afraid in today's world. Over influence of media make us more anxious but most of the times the news are real too. But too much of a helicopter parenting can leave the kid as a bad decision maker. His ability to make decisions will become very poor which may affect his future success in life. At a later stage he also becomes over anxious without parents as they were sorting out the issues for him. He may become so over dependent on parents that he feels unhappy without parents hovering above him.
     
  11. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    261
    This may be related to this thread. I am peeved by parents who answer for their kid when an adult ask their kid a question. For example, I ask a toddler if she likes the treat I gave him, the mother would say, "Say yes you like it." But sometimes the mother is worse with the answer, "Yes, I like it, Sir." It's like doing the choreo of the child, isn't it?

    My usual advice to parents of toddlers in my circle is to teach how and not do the work for the child. That is one way of giving the child a sense of responsibility with the things that the child can do by himself. If the parents would always do everything for the child then how could the child learn?
     
  12. Ladykayann

    Ladykayann New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2017
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    4
    Helicopter parent, haha, never heard it quite like that, but I am a helicopter mom as I have a 3 year old with ASD and if he is not closely supervised he could hurt himself.

    Looking back though I've always been a helicopter mom. I was overprotective with my now 12 year old as well, but it didn't affect her negatively at all, she's an active intelligent, social butterfly and very responsible.
     
  13. Shine_Spirit

    Shine_Spirit Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2017
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    27
    I loved the expression, but no... I'm not part of that group. I always try to keep on the edge of what I can / should do or not. Activities that must be done exclusively by children are done by them and by no one else here at home. I think this is a great and effective way to show the children that they have their own obligations.
     
  14. Mika

    Mika Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    515
    Likes Received:
    136
    I agree with OP in this case... I agree that some of us are over-caring and make our children lesser confident in the process. I also agree that some of us are extra "Generous" in allowing children to do things which they should not actually do in a certain age. I believe that parents should know their and their children's limit and capacity. I also believe that over confidence and no confidence in your children, both are harmful.
     
  15. freebird37

    freebird37 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2017
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    6
    I think a lot of first-time parents hover over their children for fear of something happening to them. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. There are a lot of things children can get into once they start getting mobile by crawling and walking. Child-proofing your home can reduce the need to follow them everywhere they go. By having baby gates and all of your outlets plugged with child-proof caps, not having lamps and things like that with cords that dangle can give new parents peace of mind and reduce the need to watch their every move. Most parents relax after a while. I can see where hovering too much can lead a child to become overly dependant on their parents and want them in their line of vision at all times, and the child getting upset because they can't see them.
     

Share This Page