How many children are appropriate for a family?

Discussion in 'Babies' started by Heatman, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    Generally, having a child is one of the main reason for getting married and starting up a family. Now over here in Nigeria and most African countries, we believe in having several children. An average number of children most families give birth to are five kids, some tend to exceed this number while only few stay below the number of five children.

    I believe that it's culture related because Africans appreciate having numerous numbers of children. This is not a common practice in some other parts of the world, which is why I decided to bring it up here for discussion.

    How many number of kids do families have in your country and what number of kids do you consider appropriate for a family to stick to? I would say 3 children seems perfect to me.
     
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  2. nangk08

    nangk08 Active Member

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    Ideally, the children in any family should be proportionate to the income of the family. In poor families, we see that the number of children are much more than they can afford, not really a favorable situation as the parents cannot feed the kids properly nor clothe and educate them. In my country, in middle class and even rich, well off families most of them who are well educated, the trend is to have just one or two children. Very rarely, it is 3 or more. More than cultural or religious belief, stress should be placed on economic condition and also some consideration towards the country where population is a worrisome factor.
     
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  3. kamai

    kamai Active Member

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    I agree with this one, it is well said and thought out for the children sake. If a couple can't afford having two or more kids then one must not go through with it as the ones who suffer are the chidlren. It all depends on the income and the attention that the children will receieve for safety and growth situation. One as a parent must make sure the children will have all they need.
     
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  4. LesY

    LesY New Member

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    I think 3 could be a good number. I think having more children is not always a good idea because the average household will find it hard to maintain a good and healthy live style with more family members, but of course that might be debatable. Now the problem with poor people or people form poor countries is the lack of sexual information and contraceptive methods, that is why so many families have many children not so much for their desire to have many kids.
     
  5. tyche

    tyche Active Member

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    Over here, 2 to 4 kids seem to be the norm, but in poor areas, they tend to be higher in places where there is no electricity since all they can do there is make love, because there is no diversion.
     
  6. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    For a wise family, it's always important to look at your income level to determine the number of children to bring into the world. I think it's a general occurrence around the world that most poor families tend to bear more children than the rich one.

    Sometimes I wonder why such outcome is so but the only logical conclusion I have arrived at yet is that those rich families have other forms of leisure they engage in to enjoy life but the poor man only have his wife to enjoy, which means he beds her every now and then, thereby meaning more children at every 9 months interval.
     
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  7. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Active Member

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    My ideal number of children is 2 and a maximum of 3. That is the number that parents can handle properly regardless of the financial capability. Even if you are wealthy, having 10 children will be a hard task for you cannot monitor all your children's activities.
     
  8. kaka135

    kaka135 Active Member

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    I really think it depends on the parents, not only the financial situation, but most importantly their dedication on taking care and bringing up the kids. Nowadays, in my country, it seems like having 3 kids is considered "many". Some of my friends prefer to have only one, not because they can't afford to have more kids, but they don't think they can take care of more than one. Many of them said taking care of kids is tiring and difficult. I think having 2 kids in a family seem to be more common here.

    I would prefer to have 3 or 4 kids, as I really like to be a parent, though I am still learning hard to be a good parent. I always think the more, the merrier, though there are more quarrels or fights too, there are also always joy around. :)
     
  9. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    Well this is bound to vary a lot depending who you ask and where you are, but I always thought having a really big family kind of defeats the purpse, but again in some other cultures and places it is probably more common.
     
  10. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    It's definitely the parents duty to take care of their kids at least when they are still small but sometimes especially in the developing countries, poor families tend to give birth to more kids that they could cater for, and which is why most the streets of their States are filled with kids beggars and a lot of thieving acts.
     
  11. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    I think it's quite common in the UK to have 2-3 children. I actually only planned 1 child but due to failed contraception I had 2. I don't think it matters how many children you have just as long as you can afford to support them all and of course love them all equally.

    Some people in this country have many children and then claim benefits to support them. I really don't agree with this. If a family lose their breadwinner due to illness or redundancy then this cannot be helped and they deserve help but to have many children knowing you do not intend to work is just wrong.
     
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  12. kamai

    kamai Active Member

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    Yes, this is why I think parents shouldn't have more children that they can't handle as the children are out in the streets suffering doing what you just mentioned, methods do exist to prevent pregnancy. I have noticed that mostly the poor are the ones who have the most children and they have them walking without shoes and out in the streets working at a very young age starting at 3 years old, very unfair.
     
  13. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    Some parents lacks human conscience, bringing a kid that they are well aware it's utterly impossible for them to take care of into the world and subjecting them to untold suffering is purely an inhuman act.

    These parents prey on the innocence of these kids because they are well aware that these children can't decline going to beg when told to.
     
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  14. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    @littlewitch66 I wouldn't be comfortable having just one kid, it's really a risk I can't see myself taking. God forbid bad thing, what if something happens to the kid? Accident, illness, or anything beyond your control that would result in losing the kid? I think I'm grateful for the failed contraceptive and you having another baby :D.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2017
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  15. littlewitch66

    littlewitch66 Active Member

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    @Heatman I've never ever regretted having my second child and never saw her as a mistake. She was and still is the loveliest girl who has done well in life and I'm very proud of her. I kind of understand what you mean about only having one child and how terrible it would be to lose it. I came close to losing my first child through drug overdoses but thankfully he survived them. I cannot imagine the pain of losing an only child, it would be unbearable.
     
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  16. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    Yeah @littlewitch66 you told me about that horrible situation that he was in a while back and I'm very glad he is out of the woods now and getting better. It's not easy being sober after drugs, it tends to have a huge toll on one's lives. Just make sure that you give him the best support you can, which I believe you are doing already. Nothing is ever going to befall him.
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2017
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  17. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    I totally agree with you @nangk08 that "the children in any family should be proportionate to the income of the family". This is the ideal, but unfortunately, as some have commented here, those who have less tend to have more kids due to lack of diversion. I think that is irresponsible parenthood! I would say, couples can have a healthy sex life without the woman getting pregnant all the time by practicing natural birth control or using artificial birth control methods which are easily available.
     
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  18. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    @Elsa The truth of the matter is that most of these parents are ignorant of artificial birth control, in fact they just don't care about getting pregnant and bringing in a new child into a world they are fully aware that taking appreciate care of the child wouldn't be possible.

    I have actually seen some women that can't read their menstrual cycle, and not to talk more of knowing when they took in until after a month they don't see their monthly menstruation. How then can such a parent make use of natural birth control? I would say some parents need serious sensitization on how how to lead their family lives.
     
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  19. Kieranlewix

    Kieranlewix Member

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    I share your concerns about the level of income generated into the family per month. Aside from all other issues, I think the ability to support these children comfortably should be number one on the leaderboard. Emphasis should be noted on the word comforatbly. Being able to support your family is different from being able to support them comfortably. As a breadwinner, managing provisions should not be strenuous. Some parents end up having very many kids because of the sexual preference. This is the main reason why African families are comprised of many children. The positive side of this is that the families are well taken care of and more importantly, very comforatbly.:)
     
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  20. nnacrter

    nnacrter New Member

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  21. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    @Kieranlewix The comfort of these children is what should be the priority of any parent before bringing them into the world. It is no achievement for a parent to bore several kids but can't be able to take good care of them, something which is more peculiar to African society as you pointed out already.

    I think it's not even only the sex preference of some parents that causes these, but also their ignorance on how to build up a comfortable family. It's the innocent children that suffers from the mistakes of their parents.
     
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  22. workingbuck

    workingbuck Active Member

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    I think if the parents are okay in terms of finances, having 4 or 5 children would be okay. As long as the parents can monitor the kids, even if you can afford to raise a lot of kids but won't have the time to check on them from time to time, then it's much better if you would only have 1 or 2 kids. What's important is you get to spend a lot of time with them, learn and help them with their activities. Be there whenever the kids need you.
     
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  23. Holmes22

    Holmes22 Active Member

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    I saw a family at the store the other day and they must have had seven kids with them, and they had no control. I do not want to assume anything but it did make me think I at least hope that some form of control and order is present in each family, but who knows.
     
  24. Natasha0717

    Natasha0717 New Member

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    I've always thought 2 should do it. :D
    Preferably a boy and a girl would be perfect. I know most fathers secretly would love to have a son, to carry on the family name, or take over the business (if there is one,) teach him how to play ball or watch sports, etc. etc. all that good stuff. Also, when a boy is raised with a sister, they learn how to treat women in general, that's just what I've seen in my observations. I was lucky enough to have 2 brothers. One passed away, but still talks to me at times in special ways, leaves me signs, still finds ways to communicate with me. That's just how intertwined we were/are. But I think 2 children would be perfect....that's just my opinion. Even financially, the kids would have the most opportunities when it comes to getting braces, going to college, anything where money is involved. Some families run into trouble when there are just so many kids to support, some miss the opportunity to go to college, some need to work really hard to get a scholarship, (which can be a lot of pressure.) So 2 children just makes the most sense to me. But again, just my opinion. ;) My Mom and Dad had 3 kids total.
     
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  25. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    That is a correct observation, Heatman - some couples are ignorant of birth control methods, and do not care if they get a baby every year :-( It's the kids who suffer eventually due to lack of basic needs and care from their parents. What's worse, some parents would even force their young children to earn a living.
     
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  26. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    This is so true @Elsa, and it's more rampant with African parents. Most of them are too self-centered and care about their satisfaction more than that of their children. They care more of fulfilling their sexual urges, than taking care of the kids that comes out it.

    The one that bugs me so much is some of the street beggars that ply on the road asking for alms. Every 9 months to year, you would see them with a new born baby and I kept wondering, what's actually wrong with their thinking faculty?
     
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  27. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Ah yes, we could only wonder what's wrong with their brains and pity the children they bring into the world. A strong family planning education and information drive is needed in your country to curb the problem.
     
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  28. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    You're so right, @workingbuck, about being able to equally support and love the kids. It doesn't matter how many they are as long as the couple can support them financially, provide all their needs, and give them all the love and care.

    I do have five kids. I was okay with two but God gave me three more wonderful kids. Others may have opted for abortion but my conscience can't do such a thing. I love them with all my heart.
     
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  29. Elsa

    Elsa Starlight Baby Employee Staff Member

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    Financially, two kids would truly be the ideal. It was also my target number when we were just starting our family. I eventually had five - 3 boys and 2 girls. All my boys are all grown up now (aged 15, 18, 20) while my two girls are aged 8 and 10. I was okay with the three boys, I didn't mind not having girls then but then they were given to us.

    You're right about fathers wanting a son, and I would say moms also secretly want to have a girl :)
     
  30. Heatman

    Heatman Active Member

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    I definitely believe so that such family planning education is needed here and it should be carried out with great effort, but the issue is that neither the government nor some NGO's have any plans for it. I just hope that something is done about this sooner than later because the sight of these kids begging on the streets and major roads are disgusting.
     
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