One of my friends recently experienced a sudden divorce leaving his kids in shock. They appeared stoic throughout the ordeal though at first they appeared crushed and confused. Though the mother has returned, it has left an indelible scar in their psyches which might not be easy to fathom. How should parents handle their kids in the event of a divorce?
My take on the divorce is do it as early as you can. It is not fair to the couple to stay together just for the sake of their children when they couldn't agree on anything anymore. Of course, the kids would suffer but let it be. The longer you prolong the divorce, the more pain it would bring to the kids. A full explanation is imperative so the kids will at least have the reason to understand what's happening. And it would be great if both parents are civil and together in explaining what is happening.
It is better for the kids to live in a serene atmosphere rather than a situation where there is constant bickering. Not an idea situation but with proper handling it could be possible for kids to understand and move on
It's a terrible and horrible for the kids to experience with the separation of their parents, but sometimes it's the appropriate solution to stop the marital problem between the hubby and the wife. Even the scripture itself is so explicit on divorce. If any one of the married couple is unfaithful and it would aggravate the situation if the couple live together and their children would eventually suffer, a divorce is the best solution ever to avail of.
I am not really in favor of divorce because I believed that troubles, quarrels, and problems are normal to a married couple. Both of them should love and understand each other. However, if there is physical harm involved, then maybe they need to separate ways. Since that divorce might have a devastating effect on children, both of them should work out together to talk to children and explain the reasons for separation. Anyway, millennial kids are opened minded nowadays.
It's always bad for children as well for parents but the question here is, why they chose the ultimate in the first place! If that was the only solution then there is nothing they could do. But then there is another question for them, "Did they take their children/child in their discussion before they decided to take this step". Divorce in itself is a complicated issue and every case is different from other so they will have to find a solution themselves.
There are different scenarios in a divorce and that could affect how parents will deal with the situation. Some marriages end in not so amicable terms that it becomes impossible for the couple to work together to make things as normal as possible for the kids. Things are easier for everyone if the divorce was a mutual decision and the former couple has chosen to remain friends for the sake of the kids. Divorce will often mean that one parent will not always be around the house but each parent should strive to make the kids feel that they are loved and cherished and that both parents will always be there for them. I admire divorced Hollywood couples who make time to spend holidays together for and with their kids.
Divorce is so hard on all parties involved but most especially kids. They don't understand why their parents stopped loving each other and some children even end up blaming themselves for the parents divorce. Parents going through a divorce must always ensure to put the interest of the children first. Also, if the children are old enough, parents should have a honest conversation with them and explain what is going on in the best way possible. There is no easy way around this as each family has its own dynamics, but it can be done.