Just few days back one of my cousin ordered one toy from the online shopping site and yesterday he gave it to his son. He was really happy. Now as per kids mentality they always used to saw these kinds of toys to other kids (they wants to make other jealous). So he did exact thing. He saw it to other kid (my other cousin's son). And now he wants the same thing too. He was so demanding that my cousin sister had to order the same thing as her son wasn't listening to her at all. I guess this kind of thing should be avoid. I mean to full fill all demand is not necessary and not good too. But I can understand as that boy was crying lot. I guess she was not having any other option. Even I think how to handle such situation?
Children will always be kids. They don't know a lot of things yet. This is why its very important as parents to know when to say yes or no to a child. While we want to give our kids everything, we should when to correct a behavior that seems out of place. For toddlers, its easy cos' their attention span is very limited. They move from toy to toy within minutes. With older children, you can set up a rewards or points strategy to get toys or for outings.
Thankfully my child is not as demanding as I have seen other children be. Yes of course she has her moments but in most cases she will listen up and understand. I try to buy her all she wants but I do make her understand that it's not always going to be that way for one reason or another. Sometimes she will cry for a bit but then she will stop in a few seconds when she realizes she's not getting it and it's final.
Kids can be demanding most of the time, but if at a young age you teach them and let them know who's the boss then I think it would be a different scenario. Most kids that are bossy or the ones who would cry out loud and make their bodies mop the floor while they scream at the top of their lungs crying are the ones who aren't really taught well while they are still a lot young. I think teaching them something like if they want something then they must be good at all times would help them a lot not just as kids but as they grow older.
I remember my cousin when we were kids, we usually go to a toy store once a week and our aunt will buy some toys for the both of us. So we looked for anything we want to get then I stumbled into this book full of paper dolls, I fell in love with it at first glance but when I checked the price, I simply put it back and look for another (it's quite expensive for a paper doll). To cut it short, I just got Play-Doh, a set of helicopters and toy soldiers for myself and my cousin chose this huge Gundam robot which is similar to the ones his father bought him a few weeks ago (just with different color). My aunt and his sisters told him that he can't get it since he already have one. So he cried and throw tantrums and laid down on the floor while shouting and crying. We tried to stop him but we couldn't. He only stopped when he got tired and by that time, we're already home (without any toys for him).
If the parent disciplines with an iron fist then the kid will understand that he can't always get what he wants. I remember making a tantrum when I was already 12 when my mom wouldn't buy me a book, and she never did buy me one, lol.
Lol, boss seems really fitting word for them sometimes. They thinks like that for sure. You are correct that person should teach to kids from starting. But what if they have already become like that which you mentioned above. Is there any good idea to treat them and change their nature? I know one kid here who is like this and their parents are now really worried about this behavior. I guess if I can get good ideas from here then I can pass to them. My girl is still 7 months old. So I am really worried about her too. Hope she will be not like this kid.
I guess that's how it should be. I mean we should not fill all demands of kids. But I have seen that some parents can't see their kids more crying. I have seen one kid here who can actually harm himself when he don't get the thing he want. I wonder how can parent handle this thing.
Actually, I think it is the fault of the parents themselves if a child is used to throwing tantrums to get something he or she wants. I have seen how parents get everything for their child, clothes, toys, sweets etc. purely out of the guilt of not spending enough time with them. The kids are then used to having everything that they may or may not need and simply cannot take no for an answer. They will then go to any lengths to get whatever they want, sometimes the kids just throw a tantrum for something that they already have but just want a new one. To avoid it, the kids should not be given everything and anything and the parents should also realise that everytime they go shopping, it is NOT necessary that they have to get the child something.
I agree with the title. However, not all kids are demanding like in the example. But in the case of the brats, I think you have to teach them a lesson or negotiate with them. When my daughter was acting like a spoiled brat and would be insisting on what she wants, my trade off is to bring her to the playground provided she would obey my wishes - that she should not insist on what she wants. She loved the playground and I had her hostage to that idea all the time.
Well I do think it's not too late to start teaching the kid who's boss. I mean, if you just let the kid be that way then nothings going to change, it would be a bit harder if the kid is a bit old like around 7 years old but still you can show the kid that he isn't the one who is in charge. My younger brother was a brat when we were kids, maybe because of our environment and our Mom wasn't around a lot. I had to do something about that, it wasn't nice but whenever he would talk back to our mom if he wants something and it isn't given to him, he would get a good beating from me. I told him he can talk back all he want as long as it's me but never ever do it to our mom and he must understand that even if we want something it cannot be provided not because mom doesn't want to but because she cannot afford it. He understood but it took some time before that happened.
Well I just hope that the parents were well aware of this going in, because I am sure that any parent could tell them that or just spend a little time with any kids. Yes they are, but hopefully with time they get to learn the value of things and earning them.
Right. My cousin's parents (aunt and uncle), both of them are too kind and they spoil him too much, although they discipline him at times when his tantrums go beyond unreasonable measures. The good thing is that my cousin was able to outgrew it and now he's a matured and responsible human being Yes there are a lot of parents who can't bear to see their kids crying so they tend to give everything they wish to, but they should also set a limit and learn how to discipline and set rules to prevent their child from being a brat.
You mean this will go down as time pass. I have think about it too. May be age wise their mind will be develop and they will slow down this things. But yes parents must play their role too to help them. So it is kind of mix duty.
I totally agree with you! Kids nowadays mostly miss out playing what they like with other kids of their own age. That is when they learn things by themselves, learn to connect and interact with others and the more play time they get, the less they focus on other unnecessary things. Playground and a few hours to play in fresh air each day will certainly avoid such temper tantrums!
With just one or two kids per family parents have tons of love and money to offer. They never for a moment think that they should give it to poorer children and have just enough for their own kids as showering everything on them will lead to spoilt children and that explains why children demand and their demands are easily met.
I would never give in to my granddaughter just because she was making a fuss about having something another child has got. I usually say something like, 'maybe you can have it for your birthday or Christmas' knowing that she will have forgotten about it by then and moved on to something else. It's not good for children to have their own way all the time, they aren't stupid and will realise quite quickly that if they make a fuss they can get what they want. We've had a few tears and tantrums in the past but she has to learn it's not always possible to have her own way and I hope it will make her a better person in the end.
My son was never demanding at all. He's mild-mannered and not so concerned about toys or other material stuff. When he was a toddler, I'd always tempt him with toys that I've always wanted when I was a kid but he never gave in. I realized early that he's not content about stuff created by others but he'd like to make them on his own. From his toddler days to early school years, he made miniature houses and buildings from match boxes or carton boxes, or made cut out figures of people to populate his own city. He'd use old stuff at home or clay to make the finishing touches to his community. He'd ask me to buy him art paper or scrapbooking items from time to time and though he was never insistent about them, I'd be happy to play the role of an obedient mom. He's a low maintenance kid! I guess it's always a case-to-case basis. Some parents, for instance, can only blame themselves for their children's bratty or demanding attitude. I know a mom who doesn't want her daughter to be left out and would always nag her husband to buy their daughter stuff that their neighbor's daughter have. Her daughter can easily pick this up and might grow up believing she can have her way by playing around her mom's emotions.
That's a good way of handling kids for sure. These days here in our area I found very less kids in play ground. Often there are zero. So if kids are there then it can be really good offer as kids always enjoy with other kids. I guess we shouldn't give whatever they demand, else they will use crying nature as weapon.
The more a parent gives in, the more the child will demand. You can never literally give them "everything," so they will never be happy if this kind of thing continues. They will be miserable, crying, throwing fits, and always demanding more. It's just not healthy. There have to be boundaries. Parents don't do kids any favors by spoiling them so much.
I think kids need to learn that they can't always have what they want. My nephew fakes a cry when someone tells him no. So they let him cry because he needs to learn. He stops immediately when he realizes he's not getting what he wants. Parents shouldn't give in, not in situations like this, this behavior can backfire later on.
I agree with you. But I wonder how to handle such situation. I have seen parents who just can't handle their crying and all those odd things and then they have to give whatever their kids demands. I know it should be controlled from starting. But what to do if kids are now already like that? It is surely harmful.
I agree kids might be demanding, but I have always read this and also agree with this: "The precious present kids want is the parents' presence." As for buying toys, I am not sure if this depends on kids' personality and parents' attitude towards it too. I have been telling my first child that we buy things that we need, (not because of saving money) because we want to save the resources and also treat our earth good, so we don't just simply buy things. My first child did request to buy toys once in a while, and I also told him that we can DIY it as it's more fun (we can spend time together), and we can recycle the stuff.... He agreed with this idea, and we have been doing it since then. He even "taught" the younger sister about this concept, so it's quite easy for me when it comes to "buying toys". They do not demand much in this area. The kids feel proud of the things they created too. Sometimes, it also depends on parents' attitude and the boundaries set. I guess if there's once we exceed the boundaries that we ourselves set, the kids know it and they will try to break it again too. Unless it's negotiable for the parents, otherwise it's good not to break the rule at the first time. My children know my boundaries well. There are something they can negotiate with me, and there are something they know I surely say NO no matter how. Buying toys is one of them.
That's really good and unique technique. I will try to treat my 7 month daughter with the same way. I surely don't want to be in list of those parents who have to full fill the all demands of their kids. You are right about boundaries, but what if its already happened. Any idea to teach such kids and put control over them. Because I know few close cousin whose boy really go violent (also hurt himself) when his demand not get full fill. In this case parents have no other option then full filling the wish. What to do in this case?
I guess it's in their nature to always demand, here is the thing what they see or observe others doing they want to try also. They just want to have a feel of what others have and do and y so doing we tend to think they are over demanding. It's the responsibility of parents to make available the necessary items that are actually beneficial to the child and control their excesses.
They think they have no other choice, but what they are really doing is rewarding his bad behavior, which encourages him to continue it. He knows he will get his way if he keeps it up. They are in charge, not the child. They have to stop giving in. I know it's much easier said than done, but everyone will be happier long term if they start changing now. Most kids just need to see that you will follow through and that you won't give in. If he misbehaves in the store, tell him you will drop everything and go home right now. He won't believe it and will try to test you. Leave your items and take him home. Yes, it's inconvenient, but you will probably only have to do this once to get his attention. Once he knows that you really mean business, his behavior will improve. It probably won't be immediate, since kids always test... but once he sees that fits don't work any longer, he'll stop throwing them.
I agree with @thisnthat. There were times my kids were demanding for something, though not toys, if it's not disturbing others, I don't mind letting her just sit or even lie down on the ground. My second child was like this, whenever I don't fulfill her desire, she'd throw tantrums. I just stay there with her, but insist on the NO with a smiley face (if it's really a NO). After several times of trying, she knows there are something I can give in, but there are something I will never, so she has to follow my way. If she is disturbing others, then I'll carry her to somewhere which is more convenient. If the kid is hurting himself or herself, I read that it's good to just hug the kid and not let him/her hurt himself or others. I read that no matter how old the child is, we can still set the boundaries, though the older they are, the more challenging it can be. I agree with @thisnthat that parents are in charge, not the child. I also read that actually children feel insecure if they "are forced" to take charge, and hence they "misbehave". They would prefer the parents to be the leader so they can follow too.
I believe this to be true, absolutely. This is what my own mother taught me. She said children are afraid when they don't know who is in charge. They need to know clear rules and that those rules will be enforced (for lack of a better word). It does give them a sense of security, which is why some children cling to a teacher or other adult when they don't have that kind of stability at home. Also, consider how a child will be once he gets to school if he's been allowed to throw fits to get his own way his whole life. That's not going to happen at school, and he's not going to know how to deal with that. He's going to have problems.
Yes it is hard to do, but one must do it to get positive results. Yes it might be inconvenient once, but that can surely produce positive result on behavior of the kids. Providing all stuffs they want will surely lead them to nothing. They might able to stop them crying but later on they will demand again. So yes I agree, parent should take hard step to stop their kids for time being. As later on this can be increase.
