My 7 year old daughter says my friend is her role model

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Jason, Mar 16, 2020.

  1. Jason

    Jason Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2020
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    13
    My daughter says that my friend is her role model. This really hurts me. Just because my friend has a bigger car, a big house, a cute chiwawa and brings her cotton candies every time we meet to play chess at my place.

    I know am being too sensitive, but again how do you expect me to feel. She was asked the same question at school and she answered the same, that my friend is cool and she loves him. This is too much for me to handle. Am even worried my wife may be having a similar opinion, but just doesn't say it aloud.
     
  2. James McAllister

    James McAllister Kinacle Employee Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2016
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    174
    I understand this sort of thing can feel hurtful, but in all honesty I wouldn't take what she says too seriously. Her reasoning for this could be something incredibly simple / insignificant, and of course it isn't any indication that she actually loves you less.

    Remember, you're the parent so you have to dish out all of the discipline, say no when necessary, etc. It's the same reason children are often happy to spend time with their uncles / aunts, even though ultimately they really are closer to their parents.

    Did she say those were the reasons specifically (bigger car, house etc?) This could be a good opportunity to teach about the value of non-material things, which will help her when picking friends and eventually a life partner in the future.

    In any case, try not to let it hurt you too much. As she gets older she'll realize more how much you do for her, and hopefully she'll voice her appreciation as well.
     
    Jason likes this.
  3. Alexandoy

    Alexandoy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    261
    I know the sad feeling of a parent to be compared to another person. But you cannot blame your child if she admires the rich. That means she has a sense of value although it is not in the right direction. Maybe you have to make here know, little by little, that the situation of people varies and being rich is good but not always.
     
    Jason likes this.
  4. Jason

    Jason Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2020
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    13
    Well said @James McAllister I think am either over-reacting or just being insecure. Because honestly she never Said her reasons for picking him as a role model. I just noticed she admired his stuff.

    @Alexandoy true. I see your perspective. Yes, it brings out her sense of value, which must be enhanced. It's only that it's coming at a cost my self-worth and ego. Thanks. You all for your valuable feedback.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2020
  5. tyche

    tyche Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2016
    Messages:
    663
    Likes Received:
    86
    Don't be too sensitive. It's just an opinion of a kid that wasn't mature enough to discern what is really better. Kids just judge people on how they see it and it's usually what others have that the other doesn't have.
     
  6. Hova

    Hova Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2018
    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    31
    Kids will always be kids. They will like you if you are 'cool' and being that while at the same time trying to be a parent is not easy, you know?
    That is why friends, uncles, aunts and celebrities will always be 'role models'. At the end of the day, they will love you unconditionally because you are the parent, so I would not worry too much about it if I were you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020

Share This Page